Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
