ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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