I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
