Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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