If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
