Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
