you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
