is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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