I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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