oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
