I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
