I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
