They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
