Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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