we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need water and some morals
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
