office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
that's an acceptable place to lick
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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