So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
