"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
