I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
