The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
