i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
