I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I puked a lego.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
