And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
