Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
