how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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