Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
