My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize