I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
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When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
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I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
jump out the window naked night went bad
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