you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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