paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
