All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
