i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
