Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
