i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
