What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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