There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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