four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
