If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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