Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize