Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
