I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
