My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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