Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
