...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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