Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
