my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
