ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
