I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
