I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The best revenge is premature balding
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
