I look better un-naked...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I want a musical about memes.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
