No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
