Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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