Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize