I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
two words...techno handjob
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
