i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
its liver damage thursday
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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