i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
