We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
