We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
