Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
