I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
how does that bad decision feel?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
